Hold Me
by Dark Goddess1
Summary: After a long day's work, John Munch just wants someone to hold him....and someone's there to do so.


Hold Me

To AivilO40015, and shamrocks020, my SVU AIM buddies

John Munch sighed as he walked in the front door of the brownstone he shared with his fiancée, Alexandra Cabot and hung up his coat and hat. It was two o'clock in the morning and he was just getting home…and he was exhausted.  It had been one of the longest days of his life and all he wanted to do was sleep. 

: Looking around, he noticed that the house was dark, empty and quiet. Maybe Alex had already gone to bed, or maybe she wasn't home yet. He highly doubted the latter. Alex was a bit of a workaholic, but she knew when to stop. With another sigh, and to see whether or not his blushing bride to be was home yet or was in bed.

John thought that he was going to collapse on his feet before he got upstairs to the bedroom, he was so tired, but it was all worth it when he opened the door and found Alex already fast asleep in bed. He smiled gently at the sight of her, sleeping peacefully, like an angel and then quietly crept about the bedroom, trying to get changed for bed and not wake her up. 

He was just getting into bed beside her when she began to wake up. "John?" she called groggily into the darkness. "Is that you?"

"Go back to sleep, Alex." John said and he placed his head on the pillow and took his glasses off. 

She smiled and switched on the light. "Hey."

"Alex, I'm tired." John said. "I've had a long day and all I want to do now is sleep."

"Well, good evening to you, too." She replied huffily. "John, you were gone when I woke up this morning, I didn't see you at the precinct when I showed up today and you didn't even bother to call me. During lunch, like you normally do. Hell, I didn't even receive an email from you, today. I missed you all day and now you're home and all I want to do is tell you all about my day and hear all about your day."

He sighed. "Alex, can it wait? I feel like crap right now and I'm also wondering about something."

"What is it?" Her face was suddenly full of concern. 

"Why in the world are you in love with me?" he asked. "Why are you still here with me when you could have any man you wanted?"

"That's a silly question, John." She said. "I'm in love with you. Why else would I still be here?"

"Please, Alex. So many women have given up on me. Why should you be any different?"

"Maybe it's because I find you interesting…exciting…impressive…and I can put up with all of your eccentricities, unlike some women." She rested her head on his chest. "I'll listen to your conspiracies…. no matter how crazy they seem, because I care about you so much. You make me so happy sometimes that I just forget all my problems…and you make me laugh. I like that. I like you."

"A shrink told me once that I was frustrated because, even after all of my failed marriages, I still believed in true love and I hadn't been able to find it." John said. "That was a while ago, when Monique Jeffries was around and she was still my partner." He paused for a moment, thoughtfully. "I wonder how she's doing now." He thought wistfully of the female detective who'd resigned shortly after Alex became the SVU's ADA.

"Is that what's on your mind?" Alex probed. "Are you afraid that I might leave you, too? Well, guess what. You're wrong. I've been able to put up with you for a few years now. If I can handle you this well while we're dating, marriage should be easy, but maybe it won't be. I'm feeling optimistic. "

"Alex, it's more than that. I'm also beginning to consider retirement. I can't handle this job anymore." He sounded really depressed.  "You're lucky, Alex. You don't have to see it up close. Not the way I do. You're saved from seeing it all up close. Your position saved you."

"No, it didn't." Alex said. "John, I chose this job. I can handle it just fine…but I can't pretend that this doesn't affect me, just like you can't pretend that it doesn't affect you. You're my salvation from this job…the one thing that keeps me from going insane. And I know that I'm the only thing that keeps you from losing it. Well, actually, I think that it's either me or Fin. I'm not entirely sure. But I know that you would have gone insane a long time ago if _somebody _hadn't been there."

"I don't buy that." He said, giving her a look. 

"Consider it my conspiracy theory." She said. "Somebody up there must like you or you would have gone round the bend a while ago…like say, after your last marriage broke up?"

He was unusually silent for a long moment. "Well, if that happened, I wouldn't have met Cassidy or Jeffries, or Olivia or Elliot or Donnie. …Or you."

She smiled at him. "Now do you believe in true love?"

He smiled. "Yes…and I just got a huge reminder of why I love you so much,"

"And why is that?"

"You put up with me…willingly. No woman I have ever met before has done that and _not_ complained at some point. You never complain and you have no idea how much I appreciate that."

"You're welcome, John." She smiled at him, and then noticed that his eyes were teary.

"What's wrong?"

He couldn't tell her. All he could get out was "Hold me."

And she held him.


End file.
